Effective Coping with Chronic Disease
~ Gail Brenner, Ph.D.
Many older adults are very familiar with chronic disease and its effects on one’s way of life. In fact, more than 80 percent of people over the age of 70 have been diagnosed with a chronic medical condition. Chronic diseases generally last for life and are characterized by symptoms that tend to vary from day to day. Examples of chronic diseases are heart disease, hypertension, kidney disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and osteoarthritis. Medical treatment for these diseases is aimed at effectively managing symptoms rather than curing the disease itself.
Although a chronic disease is a medical problem, anyone living with a chronic condition knows that virtually all areas of one’s life can be affected, including daily activities, relationships, and physical and emotional well-being. There is often a pervasive sense of loss – loss of control over our physical bodies, loss of independence, loss of ability to engage in activities we enjoy, loss of important roles that have defined who we are.
In the face of these challenges, the good news is that effective coping with chronic disease is within everyone’s reach by learning and implementing useful skills. Successful coping requires an acceptance of what can and cannot be controlled. We usually cannot control the fact that we have a chronic disease, but we can control how we relate to having the disease. We can resist and struggle and wish things were different or we can be realistic and practical about what is actually happening. In the river of chronic disease, we can fight to paddle against the current, or we can skillfully navigate downstream following the river’s natural flow.
Good coping skills are fundamental to living successfully with a chronic illness. By cultivating an array of coping skills, as suggested below, those with chronic disease will discover the very real possibility of sustaining a good quality of life with satisfying relationships and meaningful experiences.
Pace your activity level each day.
Fatigue is often an issue for people with chronic disease. If you are trying to do too much, see if you can adjust your expectations for how much you can accomplish. You will probably benefit from taking short periods of rest throughout the day. In addition, it is useful to learn how to politely say “no” when you are asked to do more than you are able to.
Your attitude is essential to successful coping.
We do have control over where we focus our attention. Attention is like nourishment; what we feed is what will grow. If we pay attention to what we can do and what functioning remains, we will develop a positive attitude and good quality of life. However, if we feed the losses with our attention, we will live in sadness and negativity.
Reflect on what your expectations are for yourself. It is essential to expect only what is possible. If you expect more than what is possible, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Gratitude is a wonderful antidote to negative thinking. There is always something to be grateful for – the love of family, the kindness of a stranger, a beautiful sunny day.
If your thinking continues to be negative, try to identify someone you know who has a positive attitude, and use that person as a role model and inspiration.
Try to do at least one thing every day that gives you pleasure and really enjoy it. Examples include: taking a bath, seeing the sunset, watching children playing.
Allow yourself to accept support.
Relationships are key when dealing with a chronic illness, so keep the lines of communication open with family, friends, and caregivers. Talk about your needs and concerns before a problem flares up.
It can be difficult to ask for help if you are used to being independent. There is a tremendous wisdom in receiving help when it is needed. Consider asking for what you need, and graciously thanking people for their efforts.
Most communities contain a wealth of resources that can support people with chronic disease and their families. Consider contacting the appropriate disease-specific association (for example, Arthritis Foundation) for information, support groups, and additional tips for coping. Local hospitals often offer classes in coping with chronic illness.
If you are in pain…
Tell your doctor so you can be prescribed appropriate medication.
Try to find a balance between resting and activity.
Often we automatically contract our muscles around the site of the pain, which increases the pain level. Try breathing into the pain and relaxing the muscles.
Visualization can be very effective. Create a mental picture of yourself in a very serene setting, such as at the beach or in the mountains; embellish the scene using all the senses so it becomes very real for you. Go there as often as you like.
Be an active participant in the doctor-patient relationship.
Being an active partner in your care increases your sense of control. At each visit bring in a written list of your questions and concerns. Follow your doctor’s orders, and let him or her know when this is not possible. Work with your doctor to make your treatment regimen fit your lifestyle.
Coping with emotions
Emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear are natural. Remember that the experience of an emotion is temporary.
Acknowledge difficult feelings when they are present, talk to others for support or write about them, then move on.
If you find yourself ruminating, use your attention to scan through your body and relax every muscle. Focus on your breath moving in and out.
If you are depressed, anxious, or are having trouble sleeping, tell your doctor or visit a mental health professional.
Experience the goodness of giving.
Make a point of being pleasant to everyone around you, no matter how
you feel.
Offer others your attention by showing interest in them
Practice kindness toward yourself and others.
Dr. Brenner is available for consultations with aging adults and their families. She can be contacted by email at gail@clearreflection.org or by phone at (805) 570-9765.
Reprint only with permission
© 2005 Gail Brenner, Ph.D.
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